Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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