ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
