Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
