He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
she pinky promised me she was 18
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I think my moral compass just broke
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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