just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
