She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
