chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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