What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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