I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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