brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
