I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
