im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
