i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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