what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Randomize
