There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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