whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
