At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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