What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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