STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
