You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
