Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
