talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
