dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Boobs speak an international language.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
We're too hungover to prance.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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