We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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