WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
