Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
