i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
We got so high we made milksteak
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
