I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
