Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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