i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
