I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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