You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
How external is "for external use only"?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
