tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
