summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
