I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
