ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
We were destined to go to rehab together
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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