its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Randomize
