If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
The Olympian is in my bed
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