We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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