I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
