3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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