Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
