Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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