i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
