the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
