I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize
