So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
