Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
