Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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