Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
