He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
