just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
