Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Found your dick twin last night
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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